I figured out that it is almost impossible to stop cold-turkey, but I have reduced my purging to once a day. I make sure that I only purge about 10% of food. I just love the feeling after purging, I think that's what I'm hooked on, the emptiness, weightlessness. So far I have forced myself to eat under 1600 calories and all of the food is healthy, no refined or processed foods, no chips or cookies or *sob* ice cream, my favorite binge food
:(. I am eating FRESH fruits and veggies, no soda, especially not diet. Quick side note for you: there is an ingredient in diet sodas called aspartame. It is broken down into menthol, aspartic acid, and formaldehyde (the stuff they use to preserve dead bodies with). In large doses aspartame can be lethal. D: I've also been burning roughly 1500 calorie through volunteering with little kids and swimming. Soon that number will jump to 4000 calories as soon as I start up basketball again. I know that calorie restriction is a form of Ana but it is almost impossible for me to just let go of calorie counting without feeling a TON of guilt. Right now I still want to lose 30lbs before school starts, I know that is nearly impossible. Crossing my fingers praying that I can get my fat self to look good!
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